Strictly Alien Encounter

Let me introduce you to Albert Izzard — AI for short.Albert is in his mid-to-late forties and very much a creature of habit.

Every Saturday night during Strictly season, he dutifully takes the dog for a walk in the local park, leaving his wife at home to watch Strictly Come Dancing. 

 Across Britain — and even in far-flung corners of the world — everyone knows that, during the early winter months Strictly becomes a kind of religion. Albert, however, remains a committed non-believer. God have mercy on his soul.

 Normally his dog, appropriately named Metadata, is beside himself with excitement at the prospect of a walk. But on this particular Saturday evening, Metadata began to whimper and refused to move.

Albert was troubled. Metadata was a highly intelligent dog — hence the name — and this behaviour was distinctly out of character. After a moment’s hesitation, Albert decided to leave the dog at home and head out into the park alone.

 About five minutes after arriving at the local park, Albert looked up at the sky and could hardly believe what he was seeing. For a moment, he even wondered if he was dreaming. At first, he noticed a cigar-shaped object that began to shift and transform, gradually taking the form of a small spacecraft.

Within seconds, the craft landed. Standing right beside him was Inter Stella Artois — a female alien.